For such a time as this

Last Christmas we got a wonderful gift that was a life saver on our recent trip: a DVD player for our car. I love it, mainly because it is not installed in our car, so we can get it out for a big road trip, then store it away so we're not fighting over whether or not the kids get to watch movies when we go to Wal-Mart. J

On our recent trip, we had enough movies to last us even if we just lived in the car for the entire vacation. Seriously. I'm not good at making decisions, and you know how life is with kids: if I had brought 5 movies they would have wanted to watch the 6^th one that I decided to leave behind! So I brought just about everything we had (which, to be fair, is not much—we don't watch a lot of TV), and some from the library, and a few from my parents' house. Yes, I know. Out of control.

The other inevitability with small children is that they will pick a favorite movie and not want to watch anything else. Ever. Right now, that is my children with Cedarmont Kids. Honestly, it really doesn't bother me, because they are great DVDs of kids singing wholesome songs. I'll admit, the DVD was probably made in the early 90s and was not exactly a major-studio production. But all in all, I'd rather have my kids watching that than, say, SpongeBob SquarePants (which they are not allowed to watch, by the way).

BUT on the way home, after listening to "I'm in-right, out-right, up-right, down-right happy all the time…" for about the 10,000^th time in 6 hours, not to mention the several days before that, I needed a change. So I announced that it was Mommy's turn to pick a movie! Nevermind that Jon and I couldn't actually see whatever they were watching—the monitors were strapped to our headrests, so we could definitely hear every last bit!

I reached behind the seat and pulled out the stack of DVDs, or at least as much as I could grab in one hand. J I selected a VeggieTales movie and popped it in. It was the story of Esther, one that (to my knowledge) the kids had not seen before. The kids think those movies are great, and Jon and I were chuckling too, as the Jews in this story were not to be destroyed, but banished to the Island of Perpetual Tickling.

And then something unexpected happened. The movie, just for a second, took a more serious turn, and it stuck with me. VeggieTales, of course, usually takes the basic Bible story and then re-writes the script, right? I mean, the Bible is without a doubt the best and most important book ever written, but it is seriously lacking in veggie humor. I don't expect to hear a lot of dialogue taken directly from The Good Book, you know?

But this was. As Mordecai and Esther talk about Haman's plot against their people, Mordecai admonishes Esther that she could have been made queen "for such a time as this." I found myself quoting that phrase along with Pa Grape.

Esther didn't know when she was taken from her home and groomed to be a potential queen that God had a grand plan in store. She didn't seek to become queen because she knew of Haman's hate for the Jews and thought she would stop him from the inside. She didn't know the big picture. But God did.

For such a time as this…

I thought about this phrase again as I was reading about Paul in the book of Acts. He had been arrested on a trip to Jerusalem, then brought before the Sanhedrin, then before the governor, then again two years later (He was still in prison!) before the next governor, none of whom could determine any actual crimes that Paul had committed—yet they kept him a prisoner. Then a king, King Agrippa, comes to the town where Paul is being held, and Festus (the governor) has King Agrippa listen to Paul's story as well. At the end of his testimony, Paul appeals to King Agrippa's knowledge of (and belief in) the Jewish prophets, and the king scoffs that Paul would think he could "convert" him to Christianity in such a short time. And then, "Paul replied, 'Short time or long—I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.'" (Acts 26:29)

Paul didn't know when he was imprisoned two (or more) years earlier that King Agrippa was coming to hear him. But he took advantage of the opportunity. Maybe he was imprisoned just for that moment.

It's easy for us, as we read through the stories in the Bible, to see the big pictures in the lives of those in it. We know in our minds that Abraham and Sarah had Isaac late in life, but we don't have to live through the first ninety years with them, when they didn't know that they would ever become parents. We read about Saul's conversion, but don't think about the first many years of his life when he didn't know Christ and had no idea that the Road to Damascus would become so significant for him.

But in our own lives, we can grow impatient. Why am I here? How is God going to use me? When is God going to use me? In fact, this is where I have found myself for the past year or so. You see, back in high school I went to a missionary presentation one Sunday night… If you grew up in a missionary-supporting church, you know what it was like: lots of slides of African natives cooking over open fires, eating creatures that I wouldn't even want to see in real life; talk about life in such a rustic setting (to say the least); and lots of time to think about how that was definitely not the life for me! But at the end, the missionary gave a special address to the youth. When he was finished, he asked that those who felt called into full-time ministry—not necessarily missions, but any full-time service for God—come forward, so that the church could pray for them. I have no idea what he said prior to that or what the prayer was or just about anything else that happened that night. But I knew, without a doubt, that I needed to head up front. God was calling me, nudging me.

That was over 12 years ago, and sometimes it's easy to feel like the time from then until now has been a waste—I'm not, after all, a missionary or a writer or any of the other things I thought I might be now. But God sees the big picture. Maybe I was called then to be used now.

I was reminded by a friend's devotional yesterday that life isn't always about the doors that God opens, but about the hallways in between. The picture is from a fantastic book and that she and I both read (Chasing Daylight, which is definitely on my list of recommended reading). I am finally enjoying the journey—the hallway—without impatiently yanking and banging on every closed door, and serving God where I am, resting in the knowledge that He knows where the hall leads.

And you know what? I'm about to turn a corner. I don't know what I'll find. I don't know if I am sneaking up on Something or if Something is sneaking up on me. J But I feel it. That nudging. That call. It's back, and I am excited. Maybe it'll be tomorrow, and maybe it'll be another twelve years, but God is leading me… Someday maybe I'll be able to say, "God was preparing me for such a time as this."

But in the meantime, I want to enjoy the journey.

Thanks for coming along for the ride. I'll keep you posted. ;-)

Weekly Thoughts

And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" –Matthew 14:29-30

Focus. How interesting that this is the topic on my mind. I actually started to write this entry an hour ago, but then realized that I was trying to make so many different points that the article itself was completely without focus. Maybe that is why it's at the forefront of my mind—I'm feeling rather unfocused today.

It all started this morning. I am currently reading through my Bible, cover-to-cover. It's a Bible-in-a-year program that I started when I was pregnant with my almost-three-year-old daughter. (Think about that for a minute, and you'll get it…) J I am now reading the book of John. Now, in order for you to fully understand what happened this morning, I have to give you a little bit of background on myself… Not only did I grow up in a Christian home and a strong, Bible-preaching church, I was also in a wonderful program called Bible quizzing for six years. During that time I memorized (among other books) three of the four gospels—Matthew, Mark, and John. Although that was years ago, and I cannot even begin to claim to have them memorized now, the passages are still quite familiar. Sometimes too familiar. So this morning I read my requisite passage in John, closed my Bible, and got up to take a shower… and then I thought, "Wait, what did I just read?" The passage was so familiar to me that I had literally skimmed it with my eyes, all the while thinking about what the kids would wear to church, what we would do this afternoon, what was on my schedule for the week. I wasn't focused, I was just fulfilling an obligation.

But here's the real issue: If I'm unfocused then, first thing in the morning while the rest of my family is asleep and my house is quiet, when there are no other distractions and no one else is vying for my attention… how can I be focused on Christ when my daughter spills her water and my son is overdue for a nap and the dog got in the house and the phone is ringing and we're late for church and… you know the drill. If I am not paying attention to what God is saying when we're talking one-on-one, will I, like Peter, get distracted from Him when the storms come?

It can be quite embarrassing to be in the middle of a conversation and say, "I'm so sorry, but I have no idea what you just said. Could you repeat that for me?" But sometimes we need that little admission to force us to refocus… and oh, the benefits that can come from hearing what was spoken! If you're distracted today, if your mind is wandering away from the important and onto minutiae, if you're looking at the size of the waves instead of to the One who made the water and the wind… take a moment to stop. Tell the Lord, "I'm so sorry, but I have no idea what You've been saying to me. Can You repeat that?" Focus completely on Christ, and let Him worry about the periphery.

Have a blessed week.

Weekly Thoughts

"But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night." –Psalm 1:2

Writer's block. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, this is "A usually temporary psychological inability to begin or continue work on a piece of writing." Basically, the author is stumped. She has no idea how to proceed, what to write next. Her mind is blank.

I looked up a slightly different term in the dictionary today: reader's block. Unfortunately, it wasn't there… but I guess that means I get to make up my own definition. J To me, reader's block is what sometimes happens when I read my Bible. I physically see the words, I do comprehend them, but they just don't "stick." When I get done reading, I don't really know what I've read or how to apply it.

I recently heard a fantastic speaker named Lisa Harper. Wow! She is a phenomenal speaker and biblical scholar, and she even made the genealogies interesting! (And I'm not kidding—that's literally what she spoke about, and it was great!) What a passion for God's Word, for really squeezing the meaning out of what can seem to be mundane details. She really inspired me to dig a little deeper, to know and understand God's Word a little better. Now, I'm not likely to enter seminary next week or begin delving into theological textbooks, but there are simple ways to start.

First, I have started using multiple translations of the Bible. Sometimes when I am struggling to understand a passage in one translation, reading it in a slightly different translation can help to clear it up. And other times when I think I am maybe misinterpreting something—or maybe finding something a little "deeper" than the direct text—comparing a couple of different translations can help me to get a better grasp on the subtleties.

It can also be a great help to do a study along with or in addition to just "straight" Bible reading. Make use of others' knowledge and experiences. I may not know the original Greek and Hebrew, but I can still learn from those who do.

But for me, my biggest shortfall is that I just need to start listening a little better. I'm pretty good at talking—to God and, honestly, to anyone else within earshot. J Sometimes, though, I have a hard time knowing how to listen to God. The verse that I chose today is really something that I am striving for. I want to meditate on God's Word, to be still and listen. To me, meditating on God's Word involves more than just seeing the words on the page. It means to read them, to understand them, and then to stop and listen to what God is really saying to me through them. It means that, rather than just perusing a passage of Scripture and then talking to God and my day and my needs and my desires, I need to internalize the meaning and listen to what He is saying to me. It seems, though, that even when my lips are closed, my mind is still moving!

I have decided that this week, this will be my focus. In order to get the most out of my time with Him and really know how His Word applies to me, I am going to work on meditating on His Word and listening to Him, not just reading words and praying words.

So I'm trying something different this week—I'd like to make this blog a little more interactive! J I have two questions for you. First, can you help me to listen better? Do you have any tips for how to really stop and listen for God's voice? How to meditate on His Word and how to spend some prayer time listening? Second, as I focus this week on listening… what is your focus on? I would like to challenge you to choose one area and really wrestle with it this week—whether it is a general "method" of learning more about God, like mine, or if it is gaining a better understanding of a specific topic or passage, or even if it is turning over to Him a specific struggle in your life… What are you working on with God this week? Feel free to e-mail me if you would like to keep your answers to either of these questions private… but I would also love to have you post your answers, so that we can all encourage and be encouraged by each other. Pray for me, and I will pray for you. J

Have a blessed week.

PS - For more information on Lisa Harper, go to http://www.lisaharper.net/.

Weekly Thoughts

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" Psalm 8:3-4

Hmmm… It's been two weeks since my last "Weekly Thoughts" post—or any kind of post, for that matter. It seems I'm a little behind.

This morning I got up and did my "quiet time" (I'm not big on that term, I don't know why.) for the first time in three or four days. I guess I got a little behind on that, too.

It's so easy to blow off our offenses against those we love. After all, they love us and will understand and forgive us, right? So if I'm not feeling well or I've had a bad day or I just don't have time to deal with my husband or my children or my parents or my friends or whoever it is right now, I can get away with treating them badly. I know that they will forgive me when I am back to "normal."

And every once in a while it hits me: it is a privilege—not a right— to have the love of these people, especially at times when I don't feel well or have had a bad day or whatever the circumstance may be. Those times when I am at my worst, I should love them even more for continuing to love me.

How much more does the Lord love me? And how much more do I offend Him when I just don't feel like showing Him my love in return? It is so easy to look at this little blog and think that it doesn't really matter… but it is the outpouring of my heart, the outlet that God has given me to praise Him and share Him with those who read it. It is so easy to wake up in the morning and think, "I don't have time to read my Bible this morning—but God will understand" or "I'm in a bad mood right now, I think I'll just wait until I feel better" or "I just don't feel like it." Yes, without a doubt, God will welcome me back with open arms later that day or the next morning or the day after that. But isn't that all the more reason to love Him and thank Him and praise Him right now?

Let me tell you something: God has one or two things on His plate that are a little more important than you or me. J When I look at who He is and who I am, I am so completely humbled that I would ever think that I am just too busy to spend time with Him. The ridiculousness of it just makes me blush. It is my privilege to have time with Him each day, not his privilege that I would take time to spend with Him.

Can you believe the God of the universe, the God of Abraham, the God who created all things, the God who is and was and always will be… that this God loves you individually and knows you individually and wants to spend time with you individually? Take time today to thank Him and praise Him and get to know Him a little better. And you know what? If you're feeling guilty because it's been a while since the last time or you're not feeling your best or you're having a bad day, He loves you anyway and will hold you that much tighter in His arms when you come to Him.

Have a blessed week.

Weekly thoughts

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children" –Ephesians 5:1

Don't you just love to listen to kids repeat all the things that they hear? Sometimes as parents it makes us smile—like when Grace (almost 3) asks me, "Mommy, did I tell you today how much I love you?" (Her daddy asks her that often.) And sometimes it is quite humbling—like the day I'd just had enough and swore in front of Grace AND our babysitter, and Grace felt the need to chime in and repeat what I'd said. Yikes! Fortunately, she hasn't used that word since; but she is much more likely to continuously repeat the things that she hears frequently. She is forever singing "Jesus Loves Me" (which we sing each night before bed), telling her brother, "Oh Buddy, you are just too cute", and of course, asking if I know how much she loves me. J Those, thankfully, are the kinds of things that she hears over and over. They get etched into her brain, and they get processed and repeated.

The same is true of us, isn't it? When I spend my time watching too much "CSI", I can find myself becoming desensitized to the fallen world around me. Listening to certain radio shows may make me gossipy and consumed with rather unimportant celebrity news—or worse, repeating those words and song lyrics I may not want my children to know.

But when I am listening to my Father, I start to sound and act more like Him. Reading God's Word teaches me more about who He is, and cements things that I already know. Listening to worship music puts His praises on my lips. Praying keeps Him on my heart and mind, so that serving Him becomes more natural in my everyday life. Studying about Him helps me to apply the Bible and my relationship with Christ to my life. And following Christ's example helps in turn to make me a good example to my children—and others around me.

"Be imitators of God…" We cannot imitate that which we do not know. I encourage you—as I encourage myself—to spend our time listening to the Father, so that we will make Him smile when we repeat after Him.

Weekly thoughts

I thought I would try something new. In addition to the things that I post rather sporadically, I would like to start each week with something that has been on my mind—something from my Bible studies for the week or something that God has laid on my heart. These entries will typically be shorter than what I might normally include, but hopefully will just inspire you in some way as they have me. So here we go with the first one…

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness by evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
—Philippians 4:4-7

Most of us are probably familiar with that passage. I have repeatedly in my life called on verses 6 and 7 to help me through hard times. It is truly wonderful that we can present our requests to God, and He will give us peace.

I think, however, that we can cheapen the true meaning of these verses if that's all we get out of them. Remember that verse numbers were added much later—the apostle Paul didn't divide his letters into chapters, verses, and sections. J To get the bigger picture of what he is saying, we need to look at the whole passage.

Paul isn't just calling on us to go to God with our requests, he is exhorting us to focus on God with everything we have. The peace of God will guard our hearts and minds when we do all of the things he mentioned: rejoice in the Lord always, be gentle, remember that the Lord is near, do not be anxious, AND take your concerns to the Lord in prayer. It is not just about getting relief from our concerns, it's about keeping our focus where it should be—on Christ.

To look at the even bigger picture, Paul was addressing some fighting and disagreements among the believers. These women, Euodia and Syntyche, were so focused on being right that they were taking their eyes off of Christ. They weren't rejoicing together; they weren't treating each other gently; they weren't treating each other as they would if the Lord were sitting there with them. Paul knew that true peace, both within us individually and among the believers, would come only when their focus was right.

Whatever your situation, whatever is on your mind this week, whatever is on your calendar, keep your focus on Christ. Rejoice in the Lord always. Remember with each word you say that the Lord is near. Present all of your requests to God, with thanksgiving. And let the peace of God in.

Have a blessed week.