Bye-Bye Baby

It's the end of an era here in our home. I no longer have a baby in the house.

Grace was born in June of 2005, and was still in diapers and sleeping in a crib when Matt was born just 20 months later. So in some form or another, I've had a baby for the past 4 years. But no more.

Now I have twin bedding for Matt, and I am getting ready to buy a twin bed to go with it. :-) (Yes, I am THAT mom--the one with a 2 1/2-year-old still in a crib. But even though his nickname is Destruct-O-Matt, he hasn't ever climbed out of his crib, so I have been enjoying the fact that I know where he is when it is nap time or bed time. :-) ) I am collecting paint swatches to repaint his room. I am planning to sell the crib at our garage sale next weekend. (Don't worry, we have another crib, so we haven't completely ruled out the possibility of a third child. ;-) ) No longer will we have a nursery in our home. This is especially sad for me because we were trying to get pregnant when we moved into the house, so we chose carpet and paint with a baby's room in mind.

And as if that weren't enough, Matt woke up yesterday and decided he was ready to use the potty! He sat on it 3 or 4 times yesterday, then several times again today--with a moderate amount of success! I even bought him "Thomas the Tank Engine" underwear at Wal-Mart today. Yes, this is GREAT news. I can't imagine being a diaper-free home! But it's also another sign that we are moving out of the baby phase.

And you know what else? I have stopped buying baby wash! At the aforementioned Wal-Mart trip, I bought plain old Suave shampoo, conditioner, and body wash for my kids. No longer will they come out of the tub with that Johnson's scent. (Of course, now they'll smell like strawberries--that's not too shabby either.)

I miss having a baby. I miss snuggling (neither of my kids are snugglers) and feeding them cereal and the little baby rompers and baby giggles and teeny toes.

But you know what? I love having a toddler and a preschooler. I love watching my kids really play together. I am thoroughly enjoying Matt's verbal development as he has moved from signing to single words to two-word combos and now full sentences. Grace's preschool jokes crac me up. Her reading amazes me. Their conversations and questions and comments touch my heart.

So bye-bye, Baby. It's been fun, but now it's time to look forward to new days and phases--to a "big boy bed" and swimming lessons, to preschool and soccer, to lots more growing for all of us. :-) And maybe, just maybe, there will be another baby phase in my future, but for tonight, I'm enjoying the end of an era.

Because I said so!

I did it. I didn't know what else to say, and it just popped out. Grace was trying to run over Matt with her baby doll stroller (You know, just another day...!), and he was trying to go down the stairs. I gave her the look, and she just pushed the stroller into the back of his legs and stared right back at me. I finally told her to put the stroller away and leave it upstairs. (We were heading downstairs to watch a movie--it's a bundle-up-under-the-covers-and-drink-hot-chocolate kinda day.) "But I don't want to," she reasoned.

"I didn't ask if you wanted to," I explained. "I told you to put it away."

She pulled it back and then shoved it into the back of Matt's legs again for effect. "But why?" she asked innocently.

Are you kidding? Is there really any chance on earth that she didn't know WHY? I tried to give her a full explanation, but I just couldn't bring myself to explain what she already knew. "Because... because I said so!"

Darn it. I have tried so hard not to use this phrase. Actually, I have to say that I am pretty proud of myself for making it 3 1/2 years before it slipped out. I'll try not to make a habit out of it, but I have to say... It worked! She left the stroller upstairs and came down without incident.

By the way, my kids have been an absolute riot lately. Here are a couple of highlights...

• A few mornings ago, I was getting dressed, doing my hair, etc. Gracie decided to play in our tub, which is a corner tub with a little shelf area on the back (it was dry, she was dressed--she just wanted to sit in there and play). She was playing with some toys on the shelf, where we have a big 4-wick candle. I went into the next room, and Grace called me back, "Mommy! Come here--I want to show you something!" So I walked back into the room and she said, "Look! Oh. Wait a minute. If I tell you I broke the black things on the candle, will you be angry or not angry?" (The wicks.) I burst out laughing, since I could GUESS what she had done, and I said, "It's no big deal, honey." To which she replies, "OK. I broke the black things on the candle." :-)
• Yesterday I told Grace that she needed to appreciate something (I don't remember what). She said, "Mommy, 'appreciate' means when Mommy tells you what to think." :-)
• Matt has taken to calling his poop "boogers." It cracks me up every single time he runs up to me with his hand on his backside saying, "Boogers! Boogers!"

OK, just wanted to share a few smiles with you all this morning. I need to get back to watching "Cars" now because it has been a full 24 hours since the last time I saw it! I hope you're all keeping warm, and I'll be talking to you again soon.

Update--more to follow

Hello, blog friends. I'm sorry I've been incommunicado--the kids and I are enjoying a wonderful vacation in southern California. And while I blogged quite a bit during my trip to Texas, this one has been different because, well, my kids are with me. That doesn't make for lots of quiet, introspective time! As an added obstacle, I've had limited Internet access... And let me tell you, I have new respect for the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It's been a tough 10 days for me and my significant other--that is, my laptop. But we only have to make it to tomorrow night, when we'll be back in the comfort of our own home with our wireless Internet access.


Seriously, we are having an absolutely FABULOUS time. We are also very much looking forward to getting home to see Daddy, who wasn't able to join us on this trip. (It's a long story.) The highlight of our trip was a day spent in Disneyland--it was wonderful! I have over 200 pictures of that ONE DAY. Out. of. control.


Here are my favorites:





Jon couldn't make it on this trip, but I'm not corralling the kids alone--his mom is here with us! In fact, we are really here with her, not the other way around. She is a wonderful woman, and we're having a great time being here together.



What would a trip to Disneyland be without getting to meet Mickey Mouse??? Matt is absolutely ENTHRALLED with the Mouse--or "Mou", as he calls him. (That's "mouse" without the "s", if you're not fluent in toddler-ese.)


And the absolute highlight of the day: Meeting Cinderella!!! I really wish I had captured the look in Grace's eyes when she FIRST saw the Princess. I almost cried--she was just so beside herself. The entire trip would have been worthwhile just for that moment.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in and let you know that I am alive and well. I actually do have a couple of chapters of "Katy's Family Forest" ready to go, so I will try to get one of those up later today. In the meantime, I'm off to Legoland! Talk to you all soon.

Wordless Wednesday

The kids and I just got back from the fair, and I was going to post one of those pics... but my camera is still in my car, and frankly I am just too lazy to go get it. So this is a photo from our vacation back in June that I've been wanting to share; it is Gracie wearing her "good listening ears." :-)

Mommy Time

This morning my kids and I were outside playing... I was enjoying the chance to just be at home for a little while--this is literally the second day in the last month that we have been home all day with no plans--and had gotten caught up on a few things, and I wanted to just take them outside and relax a little.

I was reveling in the fact that they are now getting old enough that I can relax a little while they play. They are starting to outgrow the need for constant monitoring when we play outside, which is so nice. (Well, Grace has been out of that stage for a while, but Matt is so into everything, I thought he'd forever need a keen eye on him!) So I took a book outside with me--yes, a book, and it had nothing to do with parenting or child development or anything like that!--and sat on the ground to read while they romped.

A few minutes later Grace came up to me. "Do you want to play rocks with me?"

"I will in just a few minutes," I replied.

"Why are you not gonna do it now?" she asked (because she must have a question for everything).

"Because I'm having Mommy Time right now."

"Oh." (Pause.) "Can I have Mommy Time too?"

Oh no, I thought. My precious little girl. How selfish of me to just be sitting here uninvolved, not playing with my dear children, who will be leaving me for school before I even know it! "Of course you can have some Mommy Time, Honey!" I put my book down and grabbed Gracie to give her a big hug.

"Thanks." (Another pause.) "What's Mommy Time?"

At this point I started to laugh at myself just a little, but was still feeling the sting of the lesson that surely was sent to me directly from God Himself. "Well, for you it would be special time that you and Mommy get to play."

"Oh. No thanks. I just want to play by myself."

Ahhhhhh....... the joys of that self-made Mommy Guilt!

At least I was able to find where I left off in my book................

Peace

A few years ago, I had surgery. It was a minor procedure—outpatient, actually—but I was still quite nervous about it. I worried for weeks… but not the day of the surgery. That day I was relaxed, happy, joking—and honestly, a little amused at how nervous my husband and mom were for me. I, however, was experiencing "the peace of God that transcends understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

And that's how I've always thought the peace of God works: You have a big trial or something monumental that you just don't know if you can get through, and then God gives you His peace. Right?

But tonight I experienced His peace in a very different way. In a small way, but in a way that has given me a new appreciation for peace.

Life with two little ones (1 and 3) is stressful. Life with a self-employed husband is stressful. The combination can be a killer! Add to that the work I am doing on planning a conference for my MOPS group, and a few other commitments that I have made, and it has been a crazy couple of weeks. Nothing major, but little thing on top of little thing on top of little thing…

And then tonight, peace. First, I went out to dinner tonight with my two closest girlfriends. We all have kids and tons of things going on, and we just don't get to spend the time together that we should. But tonight we did. And then I came home… and it wasn't a situation that I would normally have found peaceful. Although my babysitter does a fantastic job of cleaning up (Yay!), and my one-year-old was asleep, my three-year-old was still awake (almost 2 hours past bedtime)… laying in bed with her Fisher-Price dollhouse and several books. OK, I need to take a moment and confess something here.......... I think I'm a bit of an uptight mom. I am not a "take some stuff to bed until you fall asleep" mom. I am not a "bedtime is 8ish" mom. I am a "bedtime is 8:00, not 8:02, and you may take ONE stuffed animal to bed with you" mom.

Another confession: Coming home to find her awake and playing at 9:45 would normally have ruined my evening. (Yes, I know, I need to work on that……..) But tonight, it was just what I needed. Tonight I paid the babysitter and then went upstairs and laid down with my daughter. I listened to her sing songs, I talked to her about her day, I relaxed as she "petted" me (stroked my hair), and I enjoyed the one-on-one time with her that I don't get nearly enough.

That's when it hit me: This, too, is the peace of God. The much-needed refreshing that comes from time with friends. Coming home to a neat house after leaving two children in the care of a young girl. And more than anything, enjoying a quiet moment with my daughter instead of feeling frustrated over a situation that I can't change.

I left Gracie's room with a smile on my face and in my heart. I'm going to bed relaxed, thanking the Lord for good friends, a beautiful family, and peace in the midst of normal times. J

Mommy Encouragement (just a few words)

At the end of a long day with two little ones, where I am alternately wondering when my son will start talking more and thinking about the fact that my baby girl is turning three soon, I am reminded of this thought I read in a magazine recently:
The days can drag past so slowly, but the years fly by.

Enjoy the days, even the long ones, because they'll be gone before you know it!

Weekly thoughts

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children" –Ephesians 5:1

Don't you just love to listen to kids repeat all the things that they hear? Sometimes as parents it makes us smile—like when Grace (almost 3) asks me, "Mommy, did I tell you today how much I love you?" (Her daddy asks her that often.) And sometimes it is quite humbling—like the day I'd just had enough and swore in front of Grace AND our babysitter, and Grace felt the need to chime in and repeat what I'd said. Yikes! Fortunately, she hasn't used that word since; but she is much more likely to continuously repeat the things that she hears frequently. She is forever singing "Jesus Loves Me" (which we sing each night before bed), telling her brother, "Oh Buddy, you are just too cute", and of course, asking if I know how much she loves me. J Those, thankfully, are the kinds of things that she hears over and over. They get etched into her brain, and they get processed and repeated.

The same is true of us, isn't it? When I spend my time watching too much "CSI", I can find myself becoming desensitized to the fallen world around me. Listening to certain radio shows may make me gossipy and consumed with rather unimportant celebrity news—or worse, repeating those words and song lyrics I may not want my children to know.

But when I am listening to my Father, I start to sound and act more like Him. Reading God's Word teaches me more about who He is, and cements things that I already know. Listening to worship music puts His praises on my lips. Praying keeps Him on my heart and mind, so that serving Him becomes more natural in my everyday life. Studying about Him helps me to apply the Bible and my relationship with Christ to my life. And following Christ's example helps in turn to make me a good example to my children—and others around me.

"Be imitators of God…" We cannot imitate that which we do not know. I encourage you—as I encourage myself—to spend our time listening to the Father, so that we will make Him smile when we repeat after Him.

Freedom by Structure

“Mommy, will you play with me?” asked my two-year-old daughter. It was at least the tenth time that morning I’d heard her request. This time, though, I sighed in frustration.

“Gracie, I AM playing with you!” After nearly an hour of trying to fold a single load of laundry, I had given up and sat down in the midst of the toy pile in her room. What more does she want from me? I asked myself. I quit even TRYING to get anything done around here and sat here with her while she plays with… with… That’s when it hit me: I had no idea what she was playing. I had stopped working and sat next to her, but I wasn’t really playing with her. I was just sitting there, distracted, thinking of the work that wasn’t getting done while I was sitting there not playing.

Then I realized that I’d had one too many of those days. There has to be a better way, I thought. A balance must exist between the “let go of the housework and spend time with the kids” theory and making sure we had clean clothes to wear, clean dishes from which to eat, and a discernible path through the house.

That night Gracie didn’t want to go to bed, so I employed a technique that has become well-known in our house: the timer. “OK, Gracie,” I warned, “I’m going to set the timer. You can play for a few more minutes, but when the timer goes off it is time for a bath.” I call this “freedom in structure.” She can stop worrying about bedtime and focus on playing until the timer goes off; and she’s also prepared for what is coming next, so it cuts down on any hassle over going to bed.

Hmmmm... maybe there’s something to this theory for grown-ups, too, I thought. Maybe I would try setting a timer for myself. It seemed a little cheesy, but I was desperate to get out of the rut I’d been in for the past few weeks.

The next morning I decided to put my new method to the test. After breakfast I set the timer for 30 minutes. “Mommy is going to play with you until the timer goes off,” I explained, “and then I’m going to do some work.” For the next 30 minutes I was able to enjoy my children (Gracie and my then-infant son) without worrying about the dishes in the sink or the clothes in the laundry room, because I knew I would get to them. When the timer went off I set it again, for 15 minutes this time. “Now you need to play by yourself, and Mommy is going to work until the timer goes off again.” It worked like a dream!

Since that morning I have put the timer to use many times over. The increments vary depending on the day—sometimes my play segments are longer than my work segments, sometimes the other way, and sometimes I set a timer for “Mommy time” (where we ALL play by ourselves for a while, Mommy included). At first glance it seems very constraining, like I’m tied to the clock. On the contrary, though, I find it quite freeing. When I’m playing with the kids I can focus on them and enjoy them; when I’m working I don’t feel guilty about putting off their requests for “Mommy play.” Of course, the work time isn’t fail-proof—there are times when I need to help get a toy out or referee a fight or do any number of little things to help my children. That’s just life with preschoolers. Overall, though, it works well, and even helps my kids to know that they will have my undivided attention when I am playing with them.

My house is far from spotless, but it is nice to have a method that provides me the balance between being with my family and taking care of my family. Freedom in structure—such a simple concept, yet it works wonders for toddlers and grown-ups alike!