Bye-Bye Baby

It's the end of an era here in our home. I no longer have a baby in the house.

Grace was born in June of 2005, and was still in diapers and sleeping in a crib when Matt was born just 20 months later. So in some form or another, I've had a baby for the past 4 years. But no more.

Now I have twin bedding for Matt, and I am getting ready to buy a twin bed to go with it. :-) (Yes, I am THAT mom--the one with a 2 1/2-year-old still in a crib. But even though his nickname is Destruct-O-Matt, he hasn't ever climbed out of his crib, so I have been enjoying the fact that I know where he is when it is nap time or bed time. :-) ) I am collecting paint swatches to repaint his room. I am planning to sell the crib at our garage sale next weekend. (Don't worry, we have another crib, so we haven't completely ruled out the possibility of a third child. ;-) ) No longer will we have a nursery in our home. This is especially sad for me because we were trying to get pregnant when we moved into the house, so we chose carpet and paint with a baby's room in mind.

And as if that weren't enough, Matt woke up yesterday and decided he was ready to use the potty! He sat on it 3 or 4 times yesterday, then several times again today--with a moderate amount of success! I even bought him "Thomas the Tank Engine" underwear at Wal-Mart today. Yes, this is GREAT news. I can't imagine being a diaper-free home! But it's also another sign that we are moving out of the baby phase.

And you know what else? I have stopped buying baby wash! At the aforementioned Wal-Mart trip, I bought plain old Suave shampoo, conditioner, and body wash for my kids. No longer will they come out of the tub with that Johnson's scent. (Of course, now they'll smell like strawberries--that's not too shabby either.)

I miss having a baby. I miss snuggling (neither of my kids are snugglers) and feeding them cereal and the little baby rompers and baby giggles and teeny toes.

But you know what? I love having a toddler and a preschooler. I love watching my kids really play together. I am thoroughly enjoying Matt's verbal development as he has moved from signing to single words to two-word combos and now full sentences. Grace's preschool jokes crac me up. Her reading amazes me. Their conversations and questions and comments touch my heart.

So bye-bye, Baby. It's been fun, but now it's time to look forward to new days and phases--to a "big boy bed" and swimming lessons, to preschool and soccer, to lots more growing for all of us. :-) And maybe, just maybe, there will be another baby phase in my future, but for tonight, I'm enjoying the end of an era.

Ummmm… She’s HOW old?

Those who know me and my family also know that I have a three-going-on-thirteen-year-old in my house. She's got the attitude all ready to go, she just needs the puberty to go with it. But even I was unprepared for our conversation last night.

I had planned to put her to bed at 7:00 because she didn't sleep at naptime yesterday, and that's our typical routine. (Nap = 8:00 bed time, laying down quietly with no sleep = 7:00, up and playing during naptime = 6:00-6:30. Yeah, I really can't complain!) But I was feeling lazy generous, and decided not to start the battle bed time until closer to 7:30.

Finally, I told her it was time to get her PJs. She heard, "Gracie, would you please turn your music up louder?" I told her again, and she did it… eventually.

I told her to go sit on the potty. She heard, "Gracie, I would love to see you play with your balloon a little more!" I told her again, and she decided to look out the window.

I told her a third time (rather firmly), and she ran out of the room muttering something with a word that sounded distinctly like "hate."

I thought maybe we should talk about that.

I called her back into the room and asked her what she just said. She looked me in the eye with no hesitation and said, "I said, 'I love you.'"

I took a deep breath and tried to stop seeing red before proceeding.

I explained to her that there would be consequences for what she said, but it would be worse if she were to add lying to the list.

She did then come clean… but HELLO! Where does she GET this? She's not even FOUR, people!

She DID start reading the "Bob Books" this week, so who knows—maybe she's reading Seventeen magazine behind my back…

Because I said so!

I did it. I didn't know what else to say, and it just popped out. Grace was trying to run over Matt with her baby doll stroller (You know, just another day...!), and he was trying to go down the stairs. I gave her the look, and she just pushed the stroller into the back of his legs and stared right back at me. I finally told her to put the stroller away and leave it upstairs. (We were heading downstairs to watch a movie--it's a bundle-up-under-the-covers-and-drink-hot-chocolate kinda day.) "But I don't want to," she reasoned.

"I didn't ask if you wanted to," I explained. "I told you to put it away."

She pulled it back and then shoved it into the back of Matt's legs again for effect. "But why?" she asked innocently.

Are you kidding? Is there really any chance on earth that she didn't know WHY? I tried to give her a full explanation, but I just couldn't bring myself to explain what she already knew. "Because... because I said so!"

Darn it. I have tried so hard not to use this phrase. Actually, I have to say that I am pretty proud of myself for making it 3 1/2 years before it slipped out. I'll try not to make a habit out of it, but I have to say... It worked! She left the stroller upstairs and came down without incident.

By the way, my kids have been an absolute riot lately. Here are a couple of highlights...

• A few mornings ago, I was getting dressed, doing my hair, etc. Gracie decided to play in our tub, which is a corner tub with a little shelf area on the back (it was dry, she was dressed--she just wanted to sit in there and play). She was playing with some toys on the shelf, where we have a big 4-wick candle. I went into the next room, and Grace called me back, "Mommy! Come here--I want to show you something!" So I walked back into the room and she said, "Look! Oh. Wait a minute. If I tell you I broke the black things on the candle, will you be angry or not angry?" (The wicks.) I burst out laughing, since I could GUESS what she had done, and I said, "It's no big deal, honey." To which she replies, "OK. I broke the black things on the candle." :-)
• Yesterday I told Grace that she needed to appreciate something (I don't remember what). She said, "Mommy, 'appreciate' means when Mommy tells you what to think." :-)
• Matt has taken to calling his poop "boogers." It cracks me up every single time he runs up to me with his hand on his backside saying, "Boogers! Boogers!"

OK, just wanted to share a few smiles with you all this morning. I need to get back to watching "Cars" now because it has been a full 24 hours since the last time I saw it! I hope you're all keeping warm, and I'll be talking to you again soon.

Wordless Wednesday

To follow-up on yesterday's Graduation post, here's my little Frankenstein...

Yeah, I know, I know, it doesn't look that bad. Now. And he doesn't seem too traumatized. Now. But it was my first ER trip--cut me some slack.

Graduation...

Well, today I graduated to the next level as a mom... I made my first Mommy ER Trip!

The day started like any other... The kids and I got up, got dressed, and had breakfast... we went to the gym... then I asked Gracie what she wanted to do today, and she said, "I want Nana." So we headed out to my parents' house.

We played there for the morning, the kids watched a little TV, and we had lunch. I wanted to get home for naptime (Often the kids will just nap there.) b/c I had TONS to do, both around the house and for the MOPS Conference. So I carried our stuff out to the car and started the engine (read "air-conditioning"), then went back in to help the kids clean up their toys and get them in the car.

And that's when it happened. I picked up a few toys and directed Matt to pick up a toy and carry it back to the toy room (my old bedroom). He turned around and ran out of the room, and then tripped... and fell right into a hallway linen closet... into the handle of the bottom drawer. I saw him fall but didn't realize he had hit the handle, but I HEARD his forehead hit, so I knew it was gonna hurt. But then when I picked him up............. oh my goodness. Let's just say I'm not a fan of head wounds.

So I asked my dad to put Gracie down for her nap, and my mom and I headed for the local ER--fortunately just 5 minutes away. It was not a fun ride. But by the time we got there, the crying had stopped, the bleeding had stopped, and Matt felt the need to personally greet every person in the ER. :-) He didn't look too injured at that point, and I was feeling like a fool for 1) bringing him in, and 2) calling Jon and making him worry enough to reschedule all of his afternoon appointments to come join us.

But when we did get taken back (about an hour later), they said that it was deep and oddly shaped, and they recommended stitches.

Have you ever had a small child get stitches? It was WAY worse than the original wound. First they wrap him up in a sheet, then they velcro him into this big board with flaps that wrap around him, and THEN a nurse holds his head still while the doctor does his business. And of course, his business involves a shot in Matt's head (which didn't work to numb him, by the way), irrigating the wound, and doing... something else, all BEFORE he actually does the stitching! OY!!!

It was not a fun experience. For any of us.

But a few minutes later, a nurse brought him a popsicle. We didn't hear any more crying for the rest of the day.

Until we went back to my parents' house, and he fell and hit the OTHER side of his head on something else. Geez. At least there was no blood this time--just a big black-and-blue welt.

Here's to life with a boy: Cheers!

Mommy Time

This morning my kids and I were outside playing... I was enjoying the chance to just be at home for a little while--this is literally the second day in the last month that we have been home all day with no plans--and had gotten caught up on a few things, and I wanted to just take them outside and relax a little.

I was reveling in the fact that they are now getting old enough that I can relax a little while they play. They are starting to outgrow the need for constant monitoring when we play outside, which is so nice. (Well, Grace has been out of that stage for a while, but Matt is so into everything, I thought he'd forever need a keen eye on him!) So I took a book outside with me--yes, a book, and it had nothing to do with parenting or child development or anything like that!--and sat on the ground to read while they romped.

A few minutes later Grace came up to me. "Do you want to play rocks with me?"

"I will in just a few minutes," I replied.

"Why are you not gonna do it now?" she asked (because she must have a question for everything).

"Because I'm having Mommy Time right now."

"Oh." (Pause.) "Can I have Mommy Time too?"

Oh no, I thought. My precious little girl. How selfish of me to just be sitting here uninvolved, not playing with my dear children, who will be leaving me for school before I even know it! "Of course you can have some Mommy Time, Honey!" I put my book down and grabbed Gracie to give her a big hug.

"Thanks." (Another pause.) "What's Mommy Time?"

At this point I started to laugh at myself just a little, but was still feeling the sting of the lesson that surely was sent to me directly from God Himself. "Well, for you it would be special time that you and Mommy get to play."

"Oh. No thanks. I just want to play by myself."

Ahhhhhh....... the joys of that self-made Mommy Guilt!

At least I was able to find where I left off in my book................

Vacation Roundup--Updated with photos!

Thanks to all of you who have e-mailed asking about our trip! Wow! You guys are really great! So… not that I expect you all to want to hear every detail of our little family life, but I thought I would give you a little summary of our trip.

Well, our vacation actually started the day before we left, if that makes any sense. Last Friday night, we were able to go to a circus here in our hometown, and it was great!!! If you have a chance to see Carson & Barnes, I highly recommend it. I had never been to a tent circus before, and it was such a fun atmosphere! The kids really enjoyed it—especially the part where they got to eat a snow-cone—and Jon and I had a great time too. There were some really cool things there (like some cool acrobats and even elephant rides!) and some really bizarre things (like a contortionist—UGH!), and overall it was just a great way to start our week of family time.

The next morning we left our house bright-and-early-ish J and headed to my parents' house to start our big adventure. This was the first time Jon and I have had a chance to go on a trip with my parents, and it was so great! Not only did we enjoy getting to spend the time with them, but it was really neat for me that the kids got to see them every day for a week. Even this morning (two days after we got back) Matt woke up saying, "Papa? Papa? Papa!"

Anyway, our main destination for the trip was Colonial Williamsburg. However, we rented a house out there, and the house was only available for four nights. So first we went to DC, which is basically right on the way for us. Can I just tell you, Priceline is a wonderful thing??? We were able to get a 4-star hotel in downtown DC for just $75 a night! Yay!!!

We had a great time in our nation's capitol, even though we weren't there for very long. We only hit a couple of "attractions" but they were all so worthwhile. We did get to see one of my very favorite things there, which is the WWII memorial. It was just as beautiful as I remembered it, and the four of us (Jon, the kids, and I) enjoyed sitting on the edge of the fountain with our feet dangling in the water. We also checked out the Native American Museum and some absolutely beautiful gardens by the Smithsonian Castle. Oh, and we found a fabulous place to eat near Chinatown. If you are ever in that area, head straight for Clyde's! It is AWESOME—a very nice place to go on a romantic date or for a more formal dinner, but also very kid-friendly.

On Monday we headed to Williamsburg and our house with the indoor heated swimming pool… or so we thought. We got to the house and headed straight for the pool. "Oh," we thought, "we must need to turn the heat up." But alas, it was no use. The boiler was broken. And unfortunately, it remained that way for the duration of our trip. Those of you who know us "in real life" may start to think that we have some sort of "heated pool curse" after the OBX fiasco last year… I'm starting to wonder about it myself. J So anyway, that was a REAL bummer, because I don't think the air temperature dipped below 90 degrees the entire time we were there! It was unbelievably hot and humid… OY! Jon and I ventured into the pool a couple of times, and the kids loved to play AROUND it—you know, by tossing in balls and such that they expected us to fetch for them. J But that was about the extent of our luxurious pool time. Oh well.

But the "historic triangle", as they call it, was very, very cool. And you are talking to a girl who is NOT into history. At all. We didn't get to see much of Williamsburg, to be honest, but I enjoyed what we saw, and I loved Jamestown and Yorktown. The museum at Yorktown is one of the best I have ever seen, and we loved getting to see the artillery demonstration and learning about the medical practices of the day and… so many things. And I feel like there's still so much more to see! I can't wait to go back—but maybe in spring or fall, when it's a little cooler. J

Some of my favorite memories of the week, though, are just of the time together. Watching Matt explore and play in a shady spot in Williamsburg, while everyone else was on a tour of the governor's palace. (He absolutely did NOT want to sit for that!) Seeing Grace just cling to her daddy, so happy to have him all to herself for a week. Making smores in the fire pit in the backyard. Playing cards with my parents after bedtime, which we haven't really had a chance to do since we had kids. And even just having time to myself—the few days that we did get in a nap time, I was typically the only one who didn't nap, and it was wonderful! I read, I prayed, I even exercised.

And now we're home, which has also been good. We had to check out of the house on Friday morning, and Jon and I drove straight home, pulling in around 10 PM Friday night. It made for a long day of driving, but it has been so nice to have the entire weekend at home before getting back to reality on Monday morning. We all overslept this morning, so we didn't make it to church, but we are enjoying time with the kids and getting the house back in order.

Here are a few highlights of the trip. Enjoy! (The pictures are a little small for my taste, but I'm not sure how to do it any better... But if you click on the slideshow below, it'll bring it up the picture you clicked on a separate window that is bigger. Then you can click on "View Album" and see all the pic or a bigger slideshow from there.)

I'll get back to my regular posting soon! :-)

Some questions I am pondering...

Vacation is almost over! I am sitting on the couch of our rented house in Virginia while my parents are reading and my wonderful husband is putting sweet Gracie to bed. (Matt has been down for a few hours already.) We leave tomorrow, and as I reflect on the past week I have come up with a few questions...

• Why is 75 such a perfect temperature for air, but not for a swimming pool?
• Why do children who normally go to bed at 8:00 and get up at 7:00 STILL manage to get up at 7:00, even when they've gone to bed 2 hours (or more!) late?
• How did colonists survive these temperatures without AC?
• Oh, and how did they survive without--gulp--wireless internet?????
• How many times can one person listen to "Cedarmont Kids" sing "Behold, behold, I stand at the door and knock, knock, knock" in one sitting?
• When is our next trip???

It's been a nutty week, and not everything has gone according to plan... but it has been a great time of togetherness both for the four of us, and for us with my parents. We have seen some neat things and shared some good times, and I love each member of my family even more than I did when we got here.

I look forward to talking to you more about the trip! :-)

Peace

A few years ago, I had surgery. It was a minor procedure—outpatient, actually—but I was still quite nervous about it. I worried for weeks… but not the day of the surgery. That day I was relaxed, happy, joking—and honestly, a little amused at how nervous my husband and mom were for me. I, however, was experiencing "the peace of God that transcends understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

And that's how I've always thought the peace of God works: You have a big trial or something monumental that you just don't know if you can get through, and then God gives you His peace. Right?

But tonight I experienced His peace in a very different way. In a small way, but in a way that has given me a new appreciation for peace.

Life with two little ones (1 and 3) is stressful. Life with a self-employed husband is stressful. The combination can be a killer! Add to that the work I am doing on planning a conference for my MOPS group, and a few other commitments that I have made, and it has been a crazy couple of weeks. Nothing major, but little thing on top of little thing on top of little thing…

And then tonight, peace. First, I went out to dinner tonight with my two closest girlfriends. We all have kids and tons of things going on, and we just don't get to spend the time together that we should. But tonight we did. And then I came home… and it wasn't a situation that I would normally have found peaceful. Although my babysitter does a fantastic job of cleaning up (Yay!), and my one-year-old was asleep, my three-year-old was still awake (almost 2 hours past bedtime)… laying in bed with her Fisher-Price dollhouse and several books. OK, I need to take a moment and confess something here.......... I think I'm a bit of an uptight mom. I am not a "take some stuff to bed until you fall asleep" mom. I am not a "bedtime is 8ish" mom. I am a "bedtime is 8:00, not 8:02, and you may take ONE stuffed animal to bed with you" mom.

Another confession: Coming home to find her awake and playing at 9:45 would normally have ruined my evening. (Yes, I know, I need to work on that……..) But tonight, it was just what I needed. Tonight I paid the babysitter and then went upstairs and laid down with my daughter. I listened to her sing songs, I talked to her about her day, I relaxed as she "petted" me (stroked my hair), and I enjoyed the one-on-one time with her that I don't get nearly enough.

That's when it hit me: This, too, is the peace of God. The much-needed refreshing that comes from time with friends. Coming home to a neat house after leaving two children in the care of a young girl. And more than anything, enjoying a quiet moment with my daughter instead of feeling frustrated over a situation that I can't change.

I left Gracie's room with a smile on my face and in my heart. I'm going to bed relaxed, thanking the Lord for good friends, a beautiful family, and peace in the midst of normal times. J

Freedom by Structure

“Mommy, will you play with me?” asked my two-year-old daughter. It was at least the tenth time that morning I’d heard her request. This time, though, I sighed in frustration.

“Gracie, I AM playing with you!” After nearly an hour of trying to fold a single load of laundry, I had given up and sat down in the midst of the toy pile in her room. What more does she want from me? I asked myself. I quit even TRYING to get anything done around here and sat here with her while she plays with… with… That’s when it hit me: I had no idea what she was playing. I had stopped working and sat next to her, but I wasn’t really playing with her. I was just sitting there, distracted, thinking of the work that wasn’t getting done while I was sitting there not playing.

Then I realized that I’d had one too many of those days. There has to be a better way, I thought. A balance must exist between the “let go of the housework and spend time with the kids” theory and making sure we had clean clothes to wear, clean dishes from which to eat, and a discernible path through the house.

That night Gracie didn’t want to go to bed, so I employed a technique that has become well-known in our house: the timer. “OK, Gracie,” I warned, “I’m going to set the timer. You can play for a few more minutes, but when the timer goes off it is time for a bath.” I call this “freedom in structure.” She can stop worrying about bedtime and focus on playing until the timer goes off; and she’s also prepared for what is coming next, so it cuts down on any hassle over going to bed.

Hmmmm... maybe there’s something to this theory for grown-ups, too, I thought. Maybe I would try setting a timer for myself. It seemed a little cheesy, but I was desperate to get out of the rut I’d been in for the past few weeks.

The next morning I decided to put my new method to the test. After breakfast I set the timer for 30 minutes. “Mommy is going to play with you until the timer goes off,” I explained, “and then I’m going to do some work.” For the next 30 minutes I was able to enjoy my children (Gracie and my then-infant son) without worrying about the dishes in the sink or the clothes in the laundry room, because I knew I would get to them. When the timer went off I set it again, for 15 minutes this time. “Now you need to play by yourself, and Mommy is going to work until the timer goes off again.” It worked like a dream!

Since that morning I have put the timer to use many times over. The increments vary depending on the day—sometimes my play segments are longer than my work segments, sometimes the other way, and sometimes I set a timer for “Mommy time” (where we ALL play by ourselves for a while, Mommy included). At first glance it seems very constraining, like I’m tied to the clock. On the contrary, though, I find it quite freeing. When I’m playing with the kids I can focus on them and enjoy them; when I’m working I don’t feel guilty about putting off their requests for “Mommy play.” Of course, the work time isn’t fail-proof—there are times when I need to help get a toy out or referee a fight or do any number of little things to help my children. That’s just life with preschoolers. Overall, though, it works well, and even helps my kids to know that they will have my undivided attention when I am playing with them.

My house is far from spotless, but it is nice to have a method that provides me the balance between being with my family and taking care of my family. Freedom in structure—such a simple concept, yet it works wonders for toddlers and grown-ups alike!