Hello, Bloggy Friends! I've missed you--again. Trust me, you really didn't want to hear much from me for the past two weeks anyway! But now I would like to catch you up on the latest in the Land of Crazy. :-)

I have mentioned before that I have been struggling emotionally off-and-on for about 2 years--since Matt was born, basically. Fortunately, it has been decreasing lately--thanks in part to my wonderful husband and in part to some counseling--but then about 2 weeks ago, it hit with a vengance! I spent about 10 days straight feeling just... not myself. And at least 4 of those 10 days, I struggled to do much more than get out of bed in the mornings. So if I have failed to call or e-mail or otherwise respond to you in the past two weeks, I am very sorry. It is baffling to me how those feelings hit so hard and are so incapacitating. Can I tell you all something? One day last week, I stopped in the middle of Giant Eagle--with both kids in the cart--and cried because they were out of chicken pot pie. Really. And no, I'm not pregnant. Really.

Fortunately, I am feeling much better now and am looking forward to several days of good weather and good moods. :-) And by the way, I went grocery shopping this morning and couldn't help but grab myself a chicken pot pie for lunch. ;-)

So that's really where I have been for the past two weeks--that and sitting out at our garage sale that took place over the weekend. That was the second garage sale I have ever held... and I'm not sure yet if there will be a third. It was OK, but my neighbor has a fantabulous one every year, and I'm tempted to just take my stuff to her house from now on. :-)

There are a few photos I want to share with you, but my USB cable for my camera seems to have disappeared. This is especially frustrating because I need to list some stuff on Ebay and don't want to do it without pictures. Hmmmm. Maybe I should be spending my time looking for that cable instead of blogging....... NAH.

The biggest news here is that my hubby is in the midst of planning a GREAT party to ring in my 30s! Woo-hoo! Yes, I will be turning 30 in a few short weeks. I can't say that it bothers me at all, although I have been THOROUGHLY enjoying the remainder of my 20s. :-) To me, turning 30 is just a fun excuse to throw a big ol' party and hang out with friends.

As I was thinking about posting earlier, I had some oh-so-cute kiddo anecdotes to share with you all... but they seem to have slipped my mind at the moment. (Old age, I guess. ;-) ) So now you're just going to have to wait to hear more about how wonderfully cute and witty my children are.

For now, I bid you adieu. I just wanted to pop in and tell you that I'm here! I do have at least one more "Family Forest" post that I will be sharing soon.

Bye-Bye Baby

It's the end of an era here in our home. I no longer have a baby in the house.

Grace was born in June of 2005, and was still in diapers and sleeping in a crib when Matt was born just 20 months later. So in some form or another, I've had a baby for the past 4 years. But no more.

Now I have twin bedding for Matt, and I am getting ready to buy a twin bed to go with it. :-) (Yes, I am THAT mom--the one with a 2 1/2-year-old still in a crib. But even though his nickname is Destruct-O-Matt, he hasn't ever climbed out of his crib, so I have been enjoying the fact that I know where he is when it is nap time or bed time. :-) ) I am collecting paint swatches to repaint his room. I am planning to sell the crib at our garage sale next weekend. (Don't worry, we have another crib, so we haven't completely ruled out the possibility of a third child. ;-) ) No longer will we have a nursery in our home. This is especially sad for me because we were trying to get pregnant when we moved into the house, so we chose carpet and paint with a baby's room in mind.

And as if that weren't enough, Matt woke up yesterday and decided he was ready to use the potty! He sat on it 3 or 4 times yesterday, then several times again today--with a moderate amount of success! I even bought him "Thomas the Tank Engine" underwear at Wal-Mart today. Yes, this is GREAT news. I can't imagine being a diaper-free home! But it's also another sign that we are moving out of the baby phase.

And you know what else? I have stopped buying baby wash! At the aforementioned Wal-Mart trip, I bought plain old Suave shampoo, conditioner, and body wash for my kids. No longer will they come out of the tub with that Johnson's scent. (Of course, now they'll smell like strawberries--that's not too shabby either.)

I miss having a baby. I miss snuggling (neither of my kids are snugglers) and feeding them cereal and the little baby rompers and baby giggles and teeny toes.

But you know what? I love having a toddler and a preschooler. I love watching my kids really play together. I am thoroughly enjoying Matt's verbal development as he has moved from signing to single words to two-word combos and now full sentences. Grace's preschool jokes crac me up. Her reading amazes me. Their conversations and questions and comments touch my heart.

So bye-bye, Baby. It's been fun, but now it's time to look forward to new days and phases--to a "big boy bed" and swimming lessons, to preschool and soccer, to lots more growing for all of us. :-) And maybe, just maybe, there will be another baby phase in my future, but for tonight, I'm enjoying the end of an era.

Check me out!

Sorry I'm not posting much--my quiet summer has been a little "noisier" than I expected. Well, that and the stuff that God has been laying on my heart lately has been hitting a little close to home and I've been arguing with Him about whether or not I actually want to write it. Do you wonder who will win...? ;-)

But for now, I just wanted to tell you that I am guest blogging now and then at Hearts at Home. Here is one of my posts--if you've been reading my blog for a while, you may have read this before. But it's still one of my favorites, and there are lots of other great bloggers and posts on there, so check them out!

I promise to be back soon, even if it means I have to be all introspective and stuff. ;-)

Weekend Roundup (a little belated)

I have been wanting to post this since Monday, but it has been a busy week. Cleaning, running errands, getting ready for Grace's birthday party on Saturday—and let's not forget cleaning puke out of clothes, car seats, and car upholstery. That was fun. But here is a little list I've been excited to post for days now…

My Top 10 Favorite Things About Our Weekend:

1. Planting our vegetable garden.
   
2. Watching the kids spray each other down with the hose.
   
3. Riding our bikes to the Memorial Day parade with the kids in the trailer.
   
4. Watching the parade with the kids (and seeing many of our friends in the procession).
   
5. Signing Grace up for soccer. (She has been asking DAILY about playing, and she was THRILLED to sign her own name on the form. Now I just have to convince her that practices don't even start until August…)
   
6. Having an entire afternoon to myself while the rest of the family slept.
   
7. This picture:
   
   
8. Jon didn't work on Saturday.
   
9. Jon didn't work on Sunday.
   
10. Jon didn't work on Monday.
    

Yes, it was really a wonderful weekend, filled with lots of much-needed family time. I think sometimes I don't realize how much my stress level and my attitude are affected by Jon's work schedule. Having him home for three days was really the icing on the cake for… well, the whole month of May, to be honest! It made for a fun weekend and also put me in a better mood to start the week. J

And now we're gearing up for another fun weekend, filled with castle cake and princess slippers and even a little sleepover with Grace's big cousin. I can't wait to tell you all about it!

Links, Links, Everywhere!

Alright, folks. Today is a light day, because... well, just because. I'm taking a "Mental Health Day" today, and spending naptime working on last year's scrapbook. I am NOT going to write anything deep or introspective, nor am I deep-cleaning my kitchen cabinets.

OK, so now that we've got that straight, let's get back to what we're doing here. I have been coming across some fun links lately, and I would like to share them with you.

• Highlights Magazine - I never really thought to check their site, but they have lots of fun stuff, including Hidden Pictures puzzles that your kids can do online.
• Getting Boys to Read - I just discovered this one a few minutes ago, but am already really liking it. If you have boys of any age, this is a good site to check out.
• First School - For the "home preschool" that Grace and I have been doing faithfully at least one day a month (ha ha), I have found this site extremely helpful. It's got great worksheets and activity ideas.
• Preschool Express - WOW. Jean Warren has TONS of great craft and activity ideas to do with your preschooler. She has many different "stations", so you can search in whatever way best suits your needs. This site has been absolutely INVALUABLE to me.
• And since I mentioned doing preschool with Grace, let me also list Letter of the Week, which is a fabulous resource for parents of kids from infants - probably age 11 or so, although I haven't looked much beyond the preschool stuff. She has several different curriculums, including a whole line of ideas for babies and toddlers. While I have been less than consistent with carrying out the whole preschool-at-home thing, I have found this site to be unbelievably helpful, and have even been able to e-mail back and forth with Katrina, the site's creator, and she has been generous and kind in her advice to a non-teacher. :-)

OK, in case you didn't notice the theme, I'm thinking a lot today about sites that help me be a beter parent. :-) So hopefully this will help you too. Good luck, and have a fabulous Memorial Day weekend!

Hello, old friend, hello

Yes, I have missed you all... but the friend I had lost and who has now returned to me is none other than... my laptop. Oh, dear Laptop, how I have missed you!

You see, Internet Friends, my laptop went into cardiac arrest last week, and I had to rush it to computer ER. It has now been given a new pacemaker, and is back with us. (OK, maybe I stretched that metaphor a bit too far. It totally bit the dust on me last week, and it turns out that the power adapter on the machine was bad. The wonderful gentleman at our local computer repair store fixed it for me, and now we're back in business. Unfortunately, the power adapter was bad for so long that it eventually killed the battery, so now I have to work with it plugged in until I get a new battery. But I can live with that for now.)

If you think that I am making too much of a big deal out of my computer, maybe you don't know me that well. Let me put it this way: My husband says he doesn't worry about another man ever coming between us, but my laptop--well, that's a different story. :-) I tell him that the problem is with his perception: He should stop looking at the laptop as a third party and start seeing it as I do--as an extension of myself! :-)

So now I am back and can't wait to start posting more. I have all sorts of thoughts rolling around in this little brain of mine, and I am excited to share them with you!

For now, a little catch up on what's happening in the Land of Katy:

• My Mother's Day present from Jon was a couples' cooking class, which we took with about 20 friends. It was a blast! He and I had done another class at this same school, so that's where he got the idea. Each couple works on one dish, and you come together at the end with a fabulous dinner, including an appetizer, soup, salad, main course with a side dish, and dessert. I would love to make this a semi-regular occurrence--it's tons of fun and the food is awesome!
• My wonderful friend Erin recently welcomed her first baby, Levi, to the world. YAY!!! I am going out to see her and her beautiful family next month, and I can't wait! I am thrilled to see her, and I am in desperate need of a baby fix. :-)
• I am going to be contributing to the Hearts at Home blog, and am super excited to be part of something so great. Start looking for my contributions to show up in June--but don't wait until then to check out the blog. There is some great stuff on there!
• West Branch State Park has a fun little beach area... but it doesn't open until Memorial Day. You know, just in case someone might get the idea that it would be fun to take their kids to the beach to play in the sand on a nice 80 degree day... It's not open yet. But the picnic area, fortunately, IS open. And to the nice couple who gave my kids a frisbee, THANK YOU. You definitely saved the day!
• A new animal has taken up residence in our mulch beds. A snake. Yep, a snake. Can you take a guess as to who is NOT going to be pulling weeds any time soon????? The kids, though, think this is SUPER cool, and we have to keep a close eye on them so that they don't touch it. UGH!
• Jillian Michaels is NOT my BFF. I have started the "30 Day Shred", and it is a killer. But it's working, so I'm going to keep doing it!
• Has anyone heard of this show out there called "American Idol"? Anyone? I hear a few people watch it here & there. I was amazed at the talent this year, and even though I'm bummed that Danny Gokey didn't make it to the finale, I am very happy for Kris Allen! And now I can breathe a deep sigh of relief because I no longer have to be SURE I am home on Wednesday nights so that I don't hear about the results before I get to watch them. Freedom! :-)
• And last but not least, GUESS who I talked to last week....! Are you ready? My half-sister! My birth father had a daughter who is about 18 months older than I am, and she e-mailed me last week, and then we had a chance to talk on the phone a few days ago. Yes, I know, you're thinking that I should have saved that for a Family Forest post, but I don't want her to feel like she's just part of a saga... but I DID want to share it with you all because I think it's really cool! :-)

So now you're all caught up. And I'm exhausted because Jon and I have been getting up at 5:00ish all week as part of a new work schedule he's trying--into the office by 6:00 AM, home at 4:00 PM. It's working great--I'm getting more done by 8:00 AM than I sometimes get done all day--except for the 4:00 PM part. He started this on Tuesday, and on Wednesday and Thursday he got held at the office until after 8:00 PM! Those are some long work days. Poor guy. Anyway, getting up early, working out hard, and staying up late to watch Idol on DVR is all starting to catch up with me. So I'm going to curl up with my cat and some NCIS reruns. I'll catch you all later.

Wordless Wednesday--sort of...

The first bon fire of the season...

It's important to always accessorize appropriately.

This would be a pretty cool picture without the trash can there... Oh well, live & learn...

How's that for some yummy goodness?!?

That's what we did last night. What's new with you?

Randomness

I have started about 5 different posts in the past 2 days, but haven't been able to finish them. Why? SLEEP DEPRIVATION. In the middle of last week, I was struck with insomnia—ugh! That lasted for a couple of nights… Then on Friday night, I was up all night with a really bad UTI, which means that I then spent Saturday morning at an urgent care center so that I wouldn't be miserable for the whole weekend. I napped a little on Saturday afternoon, and Saturday night wasn't too bad, but I didn't sleep again last night. I say all of that not to complain—honestly—but just to explain why my sentences may not make sense, and why I am not able to create a single coherent post. I apologize in advance.

Here are a few things I wanted to share:

• I have been given the opportunity to speak at a few upcoming events, and I am so excited! I will be basing my talks on my adoption story, partly talking about adoption and my story, and partly focusing on identity and who we are in Christ. I will share more as things get firmed up, etc. And if you or someone you know is looking for a speaker, I would be honored if you thought of me. J
  


• I am trying to plan Grace's party for her upcoming FOURTH BIRTHDAY. This has led me to seriously ponder two big questions: 1-How did my baby get to be four years old already? And 2-How is it possible that she has more friends than I do?
  


• Last week Jon brought home one of those big letter/number foam floor puzzles for the kids, and they LOVE it! Here is one of my favorite snapshots of them right after we put it together:
  


• This week is absolutely NUTS NUTS NUTS for me, so please bear with me if I don't post much. After Saturday, my life will be MUCH calmer. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
  


• I am working on a great study about knowing God better, so I want to leave you with the words of Simon Peter:
  "Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." (1 Peter 1:2-3, emphasis mine) Please remember, God's grace and peace become ours as we grow in our knowledge of Him. May you seek to know Him better today.
  

Have a blessed week.

Ummmm… She’s HOW old?

Those who know me and my family also know that I have a three-going-on-thirteen-year-old in my house. She's got the attitude all ready to go, she just needs the puberty to go with it. But even I was unprepared for our conversation last night.

I had planned to put her to bed at 7:00 because she didn't sleep at naptime yesterday, and that's our typical routine. (Nap = 8:00 bed time, laying down quietly with no sleep = 7:00, up and playing during naptime = 6:00-6:30. Yeah, I really can't complain!) But I was feeling lazy generous, and decided not to start the battle bed time until closer to 7:30.

Finally, I told her it was time to get her PJs. She heard, "Gracie, would you please turn your music up louder?" I told her again, and she did it… eventually.

I told her to go sit on the potty. She heard, "Gracie, I would love to see you play with your balloon a little more!" I told her again, and she decided to look out the window.

I told her a third time (rather firmly), and she ran out of the room muttering something with a word that sounded distinctly like "hate."

I thought maybe we should talk about that.

I called her back into the room and asked her what she just said. She looked me in the eye with no hesitation and said, "I said, 'I love you.'"

I took a deep breath and tried to stop seeing red before proceeding.

I explained to her that there would be consequences for what she said, but it would be worse if she were to add lying to the list.

She did then come clean… but HELLO! Where does she GET this? She's not even FOUR, people!

She DID start reading the "Bob Books" this week, so who knows—maybe she's reading Seventeen magazine behind my back…

I could sure use a little definition…

…and not just in my muscles. Although that would be good, too.

Last fall I had the opportunity to attend MOPS Convention in Texas. It was my third year going to convention, and every bit as worthwhile as my first two. MOPS International does such a fantastic job of growing great women, mothers, and leaders. It is an amazing experience, and I look forward to heading to Nashville this fall for another great convention experience.

But I digress.

One of the keynote speakers last year was a man named Patrick Lencioni. Mr. Lencioni actually works in the corporate world, "helping organizations, and the people who work within them, become 'healthier' and more effective", according to the "About Us" section of his company's web site. He has quite an impressive resume. Patrick is also a family man. If I remember correctly, he and his wife have 4 or 5 children, and a life every bit as hectic as the rest of us. And somewhere along the line, he realized that a lot of the principles he was teaching to corporations could also be applied to family life as well.

OK, I know what you're thinking, because that's what I thought, too. "Yeah. This guy should meet my husband. Why do men think that families can be run like businesses? That's just not reality!" And no, they can't. But he's not asking us to run our families like a business. He's just trying to help us find some focus.

Now, before I get in trouble for any kind of copyright infringement, let me point you to his book, The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family. You can also download the model that is explained in his book here. If you are going to do that, it may be worthwhile to check out the other links on that page as well—I'm not sure how much sense that model will make without some context. But I do recommend the book and his concepts in general.

Anyway, Jon and I have been talking a lot lately about Mr. Lencioni's system (for lack of a better word) and how it applies to our family. One of the big things that we have been trying to determine is who we are as a family. In other words, what makes our family unique from anyone else? What defines us? And then we even drilled down farther: What defines us as individuals?

So here I am to ask you: How do you want to be defined? When people talk about you, how do you want to be described or remembered? How do you want your family to see you? Your friends? Your children?

And more importantly: Are the things that you want to be your defining characteristics the things that other people currently see?

It was quite eye-opening for me to consider the things that I feel are important for me to live by… and then realize that I'm not sure they are really being demonstrated in my life. So Jon and I both sat down and picked two characteristics/behaviors that we felt were important to us individually. Then we came up with specific goals that will help us to become those people we want to be. And then we agreed to talk about our goals and progress once a week—not any major meeting, just 5-10 minutes of "How's it going?"

And here's the ultimate goal: to not have these characteristics be goals anymore. I want these things to become so second nature that I don't have to put so much thought into them—yes, they may still require intention and effort, but they will just become a part of everyday life… like brushing my teeth.

So I challenge you this week. Take a hard look at who you want to be… and who you are right now. I, of course, think that you are all wonderful. J But I'm guessing that you have one or two things that you would really like to display in your character that you don't feel you're doing right now. Pray about it. Write it down. Set some goals—but limit them to just one or two, so you are not overwhelmed. And become that person that you want others to see.

Have a blessed week.

The Deal of the Century that Wasn’t. And other stuff on my brain…

This may shock some of you, because I know that many of my friends are really into this… but I'm not much of a garage sale shopper. Nope, I've just never gotten into it. I understand why other people like them, but I don't know… I just don't find that I have the patience for them. (OK, to be honest, I kind of take this approach to "regular" shopping, too… although I could shop for baby clothes all the live-long day.)

But last year I decided I was going to turn over a new leaf. I was going to start shopping at garage sales, and I was going to like it, by golly. A development close to me was having a neighborhood sale weekend, so I thought I'd start there. (By the way, if I'm going to go to garage sales, this is the kind I like. I can put the kids in the stroller and see lots of different sales without loading and unloading my kids, and I can get a nice walk out of the deal too.) I picked up a few things here and there… and then I found "it." THE deal of the day. A woman in the neighborhood was selling a Power Wheels truck. It was identical to one my kids had ridden—and loved—at a friend's house. It came with 2—count 'em, 2—batteries. The only thing missing was the charger, which had gotten lost when they moved to their house. And it was $35.

I only had $20. "Ummmm… OK," she said, "I honestly just want it out of my garage."

I couldn't fit it in the trunk of my Altima. "That's OK," she said, "we can hold onto it until you can pick it up."

Perfect!

20 minutes later, Jon came with his big pick-up truck, and he and another guy loaded it in. My kids were ECSTATIC. When we got home, we decided to try it with the batteries that she gave us, even though we knew that they were likely depleted. They were.

So we called our friends who had the same Power Wheels truck and asked to borrow their battery charger. We charged them up and threw one in.

At this point I realized I should have asked just how long ago that family had moved and lost the charger. The batteries had been sitting for so long that they wouldn't even charge. The kids loved sitting in the truck, but the term "Power Wheels" was starting to seem like a misnomer.

Just to be sure, we then borrowed a battery from those same friends who had loaned us their charger. It worked just fine, and our kids thoroughly enjoyed one day of riding around in their truck.

And then it was up to me to order a new battery AND charger. Sooooooo… 10 months later… I did. (Yes, it really took me TEN MONTHS to click a few buttons on my computer and order this stuff. It doesn't make my 2-month blogging hiatus seem so bad now, does it???) And $80 later, we got our battery and charger.

So here's the bottom line: I just spent $100 on an old Power Wheels that only cost $150 when it was new. Yeah. THIS is why I should not be allowed to shop at garage sales.

But it was so worth every penny yesterday. Check out these photos:

Also, while I'm showing off my beautiful children, Nana & Papa (that's my parents) brought the kids a fun surprise on Wednesday, and Matt LOVES it. In fact, that photo of the two kids above is one of the few times I actually got him in the truck. He was more interested in this:

By the way, he absolutely INSISTS that it is an airplane. Also, my kids like to take toys with them in the car when we run errands, and he now asks to take this.

(I apologize for the lack of cropping/editing to the photos, but I don't have a photo editor on my laptop, and I am too lazy to find an online one, crop the photos, and then reinsert them into the post. As it is, I have an almost-4-year-old asking me about every key that I press, and it is taking everything in me not to run screaming from the room! :-) )

And before I let you go, I have to tell you all this… I was rereading some of my Family Forest posts last night, and I feel like I owe you an apology. I realized that my earlier "chapters" were much longer than the more recent ones. I'm sorry, I have no idea how or why I started making them so much shorter—maybe because more stuff started happening closer together. Anyway, the next installment is already written, so you're just going to have to deal with it. ;-) But I at least wanted to let you know that I noticed! J

Also, if you live close by, I would love to invite you to join me on Saturday night to celebrate the release of my friend Leigh-Ann's book My True Reflection. You can learn more about Leigh-Ann and her ministry at http://www.leighannbrisbin.com/. If you're interested in learning more about what we're doing tomorrow night, leave me a comment here and I'll get back to you.

Have a wonderful weekend, all.

Because I said so!

I did it. I didn't know what else to say, and it just popped out. Grace was trying to run over Matt with her baby doll stroller (You know, just another day...!), and he was trying to go down the stairs. I gave her the look, and she just pushed the stroller into the back of his legs and stared right back at me. I finally told her to put the stroller away and leave it upstairs. (We were heading downstairs to watch a movie--it's a bundle-up-under-the-covers-and-drink-hot-chocolate kinda day.) "But I don't want to," she reasoned.

"I didn't ask if you wanted to," I explained. "I told you to put it away."

She pulled it back and then shoved it into the back of Matt's legs again for effect. "But why?" she asked innocently.

Are you kidding? Is there really any chance on earth that she didn't know WHY? I tried to give her a full explanation, but I just couldn't bring myself to explain what she already knew. "Because... because I said so!"

Darn it. I have tried so hard not to use this phrase. Actually, I have to say that I am pretty proud of myself for making it 3 1/2 years before it slipped out. I'll try not to make a habit out of it, but I have to say... It worked! She left the stroller upstairs and came down without incident.

By the way, my kids have been an absolute riot lately. Here are a couple of highlights...

• A few mornings ago, I was getting dressed, doing my hair, etc. Gracie decided to play in our tub, which is a corner tub with a little shelf area on the back (it was dry, she was dressed--she just wanted to sit in there and play). She was playing with some toys on the shelf, where we have a big 4-wick candle. I went into the next room, and Grace called me back, "Mommy! Come here--I want to show you something!" So I walked back into the room and she said, "Look! Oh. Wait a minute. If I tell you I broke the black things on the candle, will you be angry or not angry?" (The wicks.) I burst out laughing, since I could GUESS what she had done, and I said, "It's no big deal, honey." To which she replies, "OK. I broke the black things on the candle." :-)
• Yesterday I told Grace that she needed to appreciate something (I don't remember what). She said, "Mommy, 'appreciate' means when Mommy tells you what to think." :-)
• Matt has taken to calling his poop "boogers." It cracks me up every single time he runs up to me with his hand on his backside saying, "Boogers! Boogers!"

OK, just wanted to share a few smiles with you all this morning. I need to get back to watching "Cars" now because it has been a full 24 hours since the last time I saw it! I hope you're all keeping warm, and I'll be talking to you again soon.

Permitting the Pain

It's been a while since I've written anything other than my adoption story. It is not for lack of material, believe me. God has given me plenty to write about in the past months, but I think I've been turning a blind eye to the lessons He's been teaching me. I finally decided to sit and listen to Him, and this is what is on my heart for today…

When I went through childbirth classes, our instructor admonished us over and over not to tense up during contractions. She encouraged us to relax during them, so that they could do what they were intended to do. Tensing up and fighting the pain only prevented the contractions from accomplishing their purpose. And the less effective they are, the more of them it takes to get the job done.

This all sounded fine when I was sitting in childbirth class 2 months before Grace was born. "Relax during contractions. Check," I thought as I went through my mental list. It was a much different story on June 2 when they actually hit. There is nothing about contractions that one could find relaxing. (Sorry, Erin, but it's true. J) I fought those contractions right up to the minute the epidural took effect! Aaaaahhhhh, now that was relief!

But 20 months later when I was back in the delivery room, something changed. I was not having an epidural this time (which is a whole separate story), but those contractions weren't any less painful. I did not, however, wish to endure any more of them than absolutely necessary. I remembered the advice of my instructor: "The more relaxed you are, the more effective they are. The more effective they are, the fewer it takes to get the job done." The contractions were painful, but they were purposeful, too. They helped me to bring my beautiful children into this world.

Recently, my spiritual life has been lacking something—me. As I have mentioned before on this blog, 2008 has been a very difficult year for me. Every time I got through one hardship, another came knocking at my door. I felt like the bear climbing over the mountain (You know, "The bear climbed over the mountain, the bear climbed over the mountain, the bear climbed over the mountain and what do you think he saw? He saw another mountain, he saw another mountain, he saw another mountain and what do you think he did? The bear climbed over the mountain…"), and I was exhausted. I finally told God, "Lord, I know that I have been growing closer and closer to You this year, and it has been really exciting. But the more I seek You, the more You test me and stretch me. I'm tired. I don't want to grow any more. I still love You, but I think I'm going to stop trying to seek You for a while."

And then life got miraculously easy. Because of course, walking away from God is always the answer to life's problems, right? Ha. On the contrary, I still had all of the same hardships to deal with, but now I was trying to handle them myself. I was fighting them, tensing up. And then one night, I remembered the instructor from my childbirth class. "The more relaxed you are, the more effective they are. The more effective they are, the fewer it takes to get the job done." God is working on me. He has a purpose for this pain. The more I fight it, the more I try to control it myself, the longer it's going to take to get the job done.

So I realized that it was time to stop my childish pouting, giving God the cold shoulder because I wasn't getting my way. And what was the result? I don't know yet. That was yesterday—I'm on day 2 of giving control back over to God. The pain is still there, but I'm permitting it to work in me, not fighting it. I know that God is in control and that there is something wonderful for me on the other side, if I allow Him to use this for His purpose.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

Good morning! I just wanted to pop in and tell you how great things are going here in Grapevine. And it. is. AWESOME.

MOPS Convention is an experience that I just cannot describe. I cannot stress enough how highly I recommend a trip to Convention for all MOPS leaders. It gives such a new perspective on what MOPS really is--what the values and goals are, the value placed on making better moms, women, and leaders in the name of Jesus Christ. It is truly incredible.

A few of the more memorable speakers I have heard so far... Patrick Lencioni is the founder and president of a consulting group that has worked with Fortune 500 companies, professional sports teams, and major universities--and he found that, even though all of the executives said that family was a higher priority than their business, they spent more time working on improving their business. So he developed some principles to help make family life a little less chaotic. I REALLY got a lot out of this one, and plan to buy the DVD to share with my husband.

Mike Miller works with Family Time, an organization committed to helping families institute intentional spiritual training in the home through regular family time. This was another fantastic session. I went in expecting it to be a sales pitch for their product, but instead it was a VERY well-done talk about not outsourcing our children's spiritual development to the church. That doesn't negate the need for church or the benefit of programs like AWANA, but those things still need to be demonstrated and taught in the home in order to really make a lasting impact. And he also took off the pressure that "family night" needs to be a huge 3-hour ordeal--just 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted fun time with a purpose can make such a difference! Mike travels all over and often speaks to groups of dads... I wish he were coming somewhere near us so that I could send my husband!

And Dr. Tim Kimmel spoke about Grace-Based Parenting, which really hit me right where I am. He again talked about the need to be directly involved in our children's spiritual training, and... oh my goodness, I feel like I can't even give you a synopsis of what he said--you just need to check him out for yourselves. He definitely had a lot of ideas that I want to implement in our home.

And I am VERY excited for today, because I get to hear the man who wrote the second-best book (next to the Bible ;-) ) that I have ever read: Erwin McManus. (The book that I'm talking about is Chasing Daylight.) He is addressing us all during the general session, and then I will also be going to his workshop afterward. THIS is the talk I have been waiting for the whole weekend! YAY!

So as you can tell, things are going well. I am missing my family and will be ready to go home tomorrow, but I think it's good for me to have a chance to miss them a little bit! :-)

The only downside is that I am not sleeping well or feeling very well. I don't think that I am getting sick, I think it's a combination of stress from some other things that are going on and my crazy hormones. If you get a chance to pray for me, especially as I travel tomorrow, I would appreciate that.

For now, though, I am off to enjoy two talks by a great man, some wonderful worship and quality time with other moms, and then a relaxing time by the pool!

See you all soon...